A Little Extra Protein

By Alice

Roy stood in front of his locker buttoning his uniform shirt. He was enjoying a moment of solitude before starting his shift. All too soon the moment was shattered when his partner, John Gage, burst through the door. Johnny grunted at Roy, acknowledging his presence and threw open his own locker, hurrying to dress before roll call. Roy was just about to engage his partner in conversation when Chet Kelly entered the room.

“Hi, Roy,” Chet called, throwing a dirty look at John.

“Hi,” Roy answered, watching Johnny return Chet’s look with a sneer.

I knew there’d be a pay back for that 30 seconds of peace and quiet!

“Don’t give me those looks, Gage,” Kelly snapped. “Not after what you did.”

“What I did? WHAT I DID?” Johnny slammed his locker shut, whirling to confront Chet. “Listen, Kelly…”

Hank Stanley chose that moment to stick his head in to the locker room, interrupting John’s diatribe. “Gage, Kelly, my office. Now!” The captain turned to Roy. “Will you tell the others that roll call will be a little late?”

Roy nodded and Stanley left the room.

Chet quickly tucked in his shirt and glared at Johnny. “Well, I hope you’re happy now!”

“Me? You hope I’m happy? You know, you got a lot of nerve, Kelly.” Johnny finished tying his boot and the two men exited the locker room, leaving a puzzled Roy alone once again.

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A few minutes later, Hank heard a knock on his office door.

“Come in.” He looked up from his paperwork and watched as his nervous fireman and jumpy paramedic entered the office. “Close the door and sit.” The two men exchanged an apprehensive glance, before both reached for the door. Johnny glared at Chet and pushed it closed. Then the two men sat down. Hank looked at a book on his desk. “I have here the log book, gentlemen. And imagine my surprise when I saw that C-shift was called out to a rescue that involved one John Gage and one Chet Kelly.”

Hank paused, watching the two men shift uncomfortably in their chairs. Then he continued, a hint of amusement in his voice. “I’m sure there’s a story here, fellas. So please, don’t keep me in suspense.” He clasped his hands together in front of him and looked expectantly from one man to the other.

The two men began to talk at once, each pointing a finger at the other.

“QUIET!” Hank yelled, then immediately cleared his throat and resumed his overly pleasant demeanor. Both men stopped yelling and looked sheepishly at their captain. “Gage,” Stanley continued, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands behind his head. “What happened?”

“Well, Cap,” John started, straightening in his chair and glancing uncertainly at Hank. “It all started when my date, Diana got the bright idea to double with her friend, Val and Val’s date….CHET!”

<><><><><><><>

Previous evening:

John Gage pulled his Land Rover up in front of a small stucco house. He emerged from the car whistling, sauntered to the front door and knocked. With one hand casually resting in his pocket, he leaned on the doorframe, checking his watch as he waited. Five minutes late! Not bad! He smoothed his hair down as the door swung open. A pretty brunette smiled at him.

“Hey, Di!” He leaned in to give her a quick kiss. “You look great!”

“Thanks, Johnny. Come on in!” She walked into the house and Johnny followed. His grin faded when he stepped into the living room.

“Chet! What are you doing here?”

Chet Kelly smiled indulgently. “Diana said she told you that Val and I were doubling with you.”

John’s mouth hung open. “You’re Val’s date?”

“That’s right, Johnny,” Val answered as she walked into the room. She squeezed Chet’s arm as she looked at Gage. “Chet finally asked me out. Only took me a month of dropping hints.” She smiled at the stocky firefighter, who blushed.

Johnny looked from Chet to Valerie, a tall voluptuous raven-haired nurse that he had hit on for at least three weeks. She had rebuffed his advances every time. He shook his head and smiled awkwardly. “Well…that’s…uh…that’s just great.”

“Well, what shall we do?” asked Diana.

“How about bowling and dinner?” Chet volunteered.

The girls looked at each other and shrugged. “Sounds good to me!” Diana looked at John. “Okay?”

“Huh?”

“Bowling and dinner?” she repeated the suggestion.

He nodded, still puzzling over Valerie’s taste in men and the four headed out to John’s Rover.

A short while later, John grumpily kept the score at the bowling alley. He seemed to be throwing mostly gutter balls tonight, while Kelly was tossing strike after strike. Chet doesn’t mind rubbing my off night in my face either! Bet he picked bowling on purpose…to show me up in front of the girls.

“Yes!” Chet shouted, hot dogging it as he threw another strike. “You’re up, Gage. Stand back ladies. You never know where his ball will land.”

“Real funny, Kelly,” John growled. I will not throw this into the gutter! Pleeeeease don’t go in the gutter! Johnny lined up his shot, stood poised to throw the ball and then rolled it right into the gutter. “Damn!” he fumed.

Diana laughed. “Obviously, bowling wasn’t your sport, hon.”

“I’m just having an off night.” Johnny plopped onto the bench, scowling.

“Gage is having an off life, aren’t ya, Johnny?” Chet chortled as he winked at the two women. Johnny’s scowl deepened as the girls laughed.

Val leaned close to Chet. “I just love a man with a good sense of humor!”

Johnny snorted and rolled his eyes. I think I’m gonna be sick!

The remainder of the bowling games was no better, with Chet and Val the winners of the evening.

“Wanna play another round?” Chet asked as Johnny added up the tenth frame of their second game.

“No.” Johnny shook his head.

“I’m done, too,” Diana agreed. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving!”

“Where shall we go?” Val asked.

Johnny looked up. “I know this great Italian place. Papa Louigi’s. It’s new.”

The others shrugged in acquiescence and the small group was soon on its way to the restaurant.

Chet squinted at the large neon sign in front of Papa Louigi’s. “Nice,” he said sarcastically. “Hey, Gage, are you sure about this place?”

Johnny narrowed his eyes, glaring at Chet. “It looks a little…gaudy. But you can’t beat the food or the portions. Just trust me”

Chet and Val exchanged a glance as Diana and John exited the Rover. The two couples entered Papa Louigi’s.

“Hiya,” said a bleached blonde waitress, wearing a very short uniform and apron. She grabbed four food-stained menus. “Dinner?”

“Yes,” John answered. The four followed the waitress into a dimly lit, half-filled dining room. She sat them at a booth, plopping the menus down on the table and walked away.

Chet fingered a rip in the tablecloth. “Classy.”

“Shut up,” John whispered and opened his menu.

The four silently studied their menus until the waitress returned, tossing a basket of Italian bread and butter onto the table.

“Ready?”

They each nodded and placed their orders. Chet and Val ordered the pasta special. Diana ordered a Pasta Primavera and John ordered Chicken Italiano, the house special. Within minutes, the waitress returned with a carafe of Chianti. Chet poured the wine and the four toasted. Even Johnny felt more relaxed.

Shortly after, generous salads were placed on the table and Johnny ordered a second carafe. Diana and Val were entertaining the men with gossip about their Rampart co-workers.

Chet sopped up the last of his house salad dressing with his second piece of bread. “Hmm!” He sipped his wine. “I gotta hand it to you, Johnny. You know your food.”

Johnny grinned. “Have I ever steered you wrong?” He looked around the now crowded dining room. “This place is nearly always packed. It’s great.” He sat back and relaxed,

A moment later the waitress returned with their entrees. Soon, the four were devouring their meals.

“Hmm!” Diana crunched a finely chopped broccoli bit. “Johnny, this is the best Italian meal I’ve had in ages.”

Val and Chet nodded.

Johnny grinned, shoving a huge forkful of chicken and pasta into his mouth. He started chewing, then suddenly stopped, a puzzled look washing over his face. He took his napkin and turned his head, spitting out the wad of food.

“That’s disgusting, Gage!” Chet started to exclaim, popping a large chunk of bread into his mouth. He stopped chewing as Johnny’s face took on a distinctly green tint. “What is wrong with you?”

“Oh man, I ate a roach!” John gasped, tossing down his napkin and trying to push Diana out of the booth.

“What? A roach!” she shrieked, throwing her fork onto her plate. She scrambled out of the booth. The other patrons stared at the foursome as Johnny stumbled behind her. Chet peeked into Johnny’s discarded napkin.

“Oh, gross!” he moaned. There among the chewed foods was a half-eaten roach. Unfortunately, as Chet gasped, he inhaled the chunk of bread and it lodged in his windpipe. His eyes grew wide and he gasped for air, desperately trying to dislodge the roll. Val stared at Chet as he choked. He grabbed his throat.

“Oh my God!” she cried out. “Help! He’s choking.” Val stood up and tried to drag Chet out of the booth.

Johnny, who was staggering towards the men’s room, heard Val’s plea and tried to return to help Chet, but his stomach picked that moment to rebel against the thought of the ugly black bug that he’d swallowed. He covered his mouth, but to his horror, he couldn’t contain himself. He looked around frantically, spotting a potted plant in the corner. He hurried over and began vomiting into the flowerpot.

Pandemonium broke out in the restaurants as patrons viewed the scene. Some hurried out, leaving without paying. Others watched as Diana and Val performed the Heimlich on Chet. Johnny continued to retch into the flowerpot, his body racked with dry heaves once the contents of his stomach had emptied. Finally, he sank to the floor, leaning against a wall, completely spent.

Papa Louigi rushed out of the kitchen, a meat clever in his hand. “What are youa doin’ toa my restauranta?” He cried as he glared at the sick man on the floor.

Johnny shook his head and closed his eyes. I wish I were dead!

The sounds of wailing sirens could be heard outside just as Val managed to dislodge the bread from Chet’s mouth. It popped out and landed in the lap of a heavyset woman, who screamed and cried as she stood up, knocking the offensive material onto the floor and overturning her table at the same time.

Tom Dwyer and Don MacNeil entered the restaurant and the now very anxious blonde waitress led them into the dining room, pushing her way through the departing crowd. They saw Chet Kelly sitting in a booth, gasping for air. Val stood next to him, waving them over. Tom gestured to MacNeil as he spotted Johnny leaning against a wall with his eyes shut. A sheen of sweat stood out on Gage’s brow.

Tom went over to Johnny and began to take his pulse as Don hurried over to check on Kelly. Johnny opened his eyes and yanked his hand away. “I’m all right!” he slurred. “Go away!”

Dwyer shook his head, surveying the scene around him. “What the hell happened here, Gage?”

Johnny leaned back against the wall and groaned. “Don’t ask, Tom. But whatever ya do, don’t order the Chicken Italiano.”

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Cap’s office

“…and that’s the whole story,” mumbled Johnny, red-faced. He stared down at his lap. Stanley looked from one man to the other. John refused to meet his eye and Chet was slowly shaking his head and paying more attention to the ceiling than to Hank.

For a minute, Stanley was speechless. Then, he looked at Johnny. “Gage, how can you possibly miss seeing THAT on your plate?”

Embarrassed, Johnny squirmed in his chair and mumbled.

“What?” Stanley leaned closer to his paramedic.

“It was dark!” Johnny cried. “And I thought it was a black olive.”

Chet snorted, then hid his smile behind his hand. Johnny glared at him.

Hank just looked at the two. “Are you both fit for duty today?”

The two men nodded. Stanley leaned forward and slowly closed the logbook. He managed to suppress the laugh that was threatening to escape, as he folded his hands together. Twits! “Dismissed. Go get ready for roll call. I’ll be out in a minute.” He watched as the two men sighed in relief and hurried from his office.

He waited until they shut the door, then burst out laughing. Only Gage and Kelly!

Hank picked up the phone and dialed. “Honey? Uh…why don’t we cancel those reservations we had at that new Italian restaurant? Maybe we could just get Chinese!”

THE END