Brush Fire

By Alice, Cameron, Carol, Cindy, Dorisann,Katy, KC,
Laura, Mary Sue, Melissa, MJ, Pat, Susan, Susie, Sheryl, and Star

A smiling Johnny Gage bounced into Station 51’s locker room. "Morning, morning, morning, beautiful day out there,” he stated, unbuttoning his shirt.

"It's 7:30 in the morning and already 89 degrees. What’s so beautiful about that?" Chet Kelly asked, with obvious disgust.

"Come on, Chet, you’re letting a little heat get to you. You're entirely missing the big picture.” The smile never left Johnny’s face as he kicked off his boots and then dropped his jeans.

"Okay, Johnny,” Roy asked, indicating the three other gentlemen standing in the room,
what ‘big picture’ are we missing?”

"Well, since you asked, I'll tell you.” Johnny laid the palm of his hand on his chest. "As of 8 o’clock tomorrow morning we’re officially of duty for five days."

"You must have big plans. Anyone I know?” Roy asked, with a sly grin.

"What?” Johnny asked, looking at Roy, confused. "Oh, funny!” shaking his head and continuing, “For your information it’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met: Mother Nature." The others groaned. “ I’m going camping.”

“Where are you going camping, Johnny?” Marco asked.

"Up to Strighents Bluff,” Johnny said, as he slipped into his uniform pants. “It’s going to be great getting out in the fresh air.”

Chet looked at Johnny in disbelief. "Gage, you expect us to believe that you’re going camping for five days -- alone?”

Johnny opened his mouth to respond when he felt Roy’s hand on his shoulder.

“Let's go get some coffee.” Roy steered his partner out of the locker room door and towards the kitchen.

~*~

Though, the shift was long and tiring, with the oppressive heat and constant runs, the men of Station 51's A-Shift where upbeat when B-Shift reported for duty. The six men exchanged quick greetings with their replacements and then hurried to their vehicles to start five days of much-deserved vacation time.

"Hey, Johnny, wait up," Roy called out to the retreating back of his partner as he hurried across the parking lot.

Looking at his watch, Johnny slowed the race to his Rover down to a walk. "What's on your mind, Roy?”

“Do you think it's really a good time to be going camping?” Roy asked as he caught up, sounding concerned. “I mean, with all the brush fires that have been up there lately--"

"Relax Roy, I checked it out. There hasn't been a fire in days. Besides, I'll be thirty miles from the site of the last one.” Johnny grinned as he climbed into his Land Rover. "I think you worry too much. We won’t have five days off again for another six months. Everything will be fine."

~*~

Hours later, a very drowsy Johnny Gage climbed into his tent. Snuggling down into his sleeping bag, he fell into a deep sleep, anticipating the next few days of nothing but nature.

Little did he know that the winds had shifted, and the persistent heat had started a new fire. It was rapidly consuming everything in its path, and heading straight for Strighents Bluff.

Two hours later, Johnny yawned and stretched, looking at his watch. He was satisfied there was enough time for a quick hike. Pulling on his jeans and hiking boots, he climbed out of the tent. It was then that he noticed a fine haze blanketing the afternoon sky. He took a deep breath of the mountain air. Funny, he sniffed again, that almost smells like a campfire. His heart sank as reality hit him. That's not a campfire; that’s a brush fire! He looked up at the nearby trees. The wind is coming from the south. I'd better hurry up and clear out of here before the fire cuts off the road. He began tearing down his equipment.

~*~

"Hey, girls, look, there's someone!” The woman picked up her pace, while her companions trudged along behind her. Their hair was disheveled and their faces covered with soot.

"Come on, Cameron, we don't have time to call on our neighbors!" Pat complained.

"Who said I was calling on them? I want to alert them to the fire.” Cameron slowed her walk a little. "Besides, he has a car--and he looks really cute from here!"

"You would say that!" Alice responded.

"Maybe he can get us out of here!” Susie said, moving up beside Cameron. "Hey, you're right, Cammie, he is cute.” The young man was beginning to pack his equipment into his Land Rover as Cameron stepped up to him.

"Excuse me, sir," she said.

"Yes?" He stuffed the tent into the back.

"Our group was hiking and ran into a ‘little’ fire.” Several of the girls coughed. One of them even asked, ‘Little?’ “We can't get back to our vehicles, and we were wondering if you could get us out of here." The young man turned. Cameron melted into her shoes. She took a sharp intake of breath. His eyes were so brown and dreamy that she almost collapsed.

“How many are in your party?”

It took her a moment to realize that he was talking to her. "Um, 5. I'm Cameron, these is Susie, Pat, Alice, and Star.” She indicated each woman as she said her name.

"I think I can get you down off of the mountain. Did you see how close the fire was?"

Star stepped up to Johnny and smiled brightly. "Just down the road. The wind was blowing it this way."

"Well, I'm a paramedic/firefighter with LA County," he announced. "I'm John Gage, and I think I can get you ladies out of here without any problem."

"Cameron!" Alice nudged her friend in the ribs with her elbow. "You forgot Sheryl!"

"Oh, yeah," Cameron quickly turned her attention back to the handsome, dark-haired man, once again catching her breath as she looked into his eyes. "There are six of us. At least there are supposed to be. Our friend Sheryl, was supposed to meet us up here an hour ago, but she hasn't shown up yet."

"We're worried that she might be lost out there somewhere." Pat indicated the area surrounding them with a broad sweep of her hand.

"Maybe even hurt," Star added fretfully.

Johnny glanced up the road to see how much time they had, and quickly pulled his equipment out of the Land Rover. He began dropping it on the side of the road to make room for his passengers. "Well, your friend is probably safe and sound at the ranger station down the road, but I think we can take a quick look around as long as we make it fast. That fire is moving this way at a pretty good clip and we don't want to get caught up here.” Johnny went around to the driver's side and jumped in while the five women fought over who got to get in first.

He glanced out the window and shook his head in disbelief. At any other time he would have been deeply flattered to have five beautiful women arguing over who was going to sit next to him. “Chet is not going to believe this,” he said softly to himself, before calling out to the ladies. "C'mon, ladies, get in. We need to leave.” He turned the key in the ignition. Susie, who'd been closest to the door, yanked it open and jumped into the front seat. She leaned forward to allow the rest of the group to climb into the back. "Do you have any idea where she might be?” Johnny asked, looking around the immediate area and shifting into drive.

“That way!" five voices yelled, five fingers pointing in five different directions.

“I don’t believe this,” he whispered, beginning to wonder if he could get this group out ‘without incident.’

Susie could feel the contemptuous stares of her companions. Her mantra was, ‘I’m sitting next to Johnny, and you guys aren’t, nanna, nanna, boo, boo, stick your head in doo doo.’ She demurely glanced at the handsome paramedic, smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes.

"So, uh, Johnny. That's quite a butt behind you!" All the color drained from her face as the laughter roared from the back seat. "Fire, I mean fire. That’s quite a fire behind you."

Johnny sighed, pushing the gas petal all the way to the floor. They had driven approximately ten minutes when Johnny saw a woman walking on the shoulder of the road.

"Hey, is that her?" he asked.

"No, that's Katy. She told us she was going to head home about thirty minutes ago," Cameron told him. "I wonder what she's doing up here."

Johnny pulled his Land Rover up next to the woman. "Do you need a ride?" he asked.

The girl lifted her head and looked into the most gorgeous brown eyes that she'd ever seen.

When she didn't answer right away, he asked again. "Ma'am, do you need a ride?”

She blushed from embarrassment. "Oh,” she took a deep breath, “the fire burned my car and, yes, I'd love to have a ride, but I can see there's no where to sit."

"We'll make a place.” He gave her a sweet smile that made her toes tingle. She closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the feeling. Her friends all made a place for her in the back and, as she climbed into the crowded seat, she asked, "Hey, Cammie, where's Sheryl?"

"That's who we're looking for. We're hoping that she's okay. Did you see her?” Cameron asked.

"No. If I had seen her, I would have made her come with me; this is going to be a bad fire. I hope she's okay."

"She'll be fine," Susie said, staring dreamily at the hunky driver.

"Sheryl?" was the shocked response from the six women in the back. Johnny glanced behind him.

"You are definitely in a dream world, aren't you, girl?” Pat said.

~*~

"What are we going to do?” Cindy asked Sheryl.

"Why are you asking me? I didn't get us into this.” Sheryl rubbed her arms against the chill of the cave. "'Hey, Sheryl, look here, it's a cave.’ I wish that I had listened to the voice in my head. It told me to stick with the others." She shook her head.

"We'll, I'm new here, I didn't know."

"If you hadn't been poking around the entrance, it wouldn't have collapsed, and we wouldn't be trapped in here."

"How was I to know that that one pebble would make all the rocks fall?"

"Don't you watch any TV?” Sheryl asked. "A cave-in is always caused by pulling on one little tiny rock.” She tried to look around the small area, “You know, I didn't realize how dark caves could be." She turned and tripped over a boulder, "Ow!” She rubbed her ankle.

"Someone should have warned me about you....” Cindy said.

"What?"

"I didn't know that you were so accident prone."

"Oh, shut up!” Sheryl said. "It's a good thing it's dark in here, you can't see what finger I'm holding up!"

"It had better be the index finger--this is a family board!” Cindy told her. "Hey, do you smell smoke?”

Sheryl sniffed loudly. "I can't smell anything with this cold. I hate camping. Remind me NOT to vacation with you guys ever again.”

Cindy snorted. "Well, if you hadn't dropped your sleeping bag off the side of the cliff, you would have been warm last night, and you wouldn't have that cold."

Sheryl glared at Cindy. "I thought I saw a bear."

Cindy shook her head. "It was a possum, Sheryl. A baby possum!"

“Well, Danielle Boone I’m not!” Sheryl shook her head. "Alice yelled bear first!"

Cindy laughed. "City girls. At least Alice held onto her sleeping bag."

Sheryl cocked her head, no longer listening. "Shh! Cindy, do you hear that?"

Cindy stopped talking and listened closely.

~*~

Katy changed the Rover's radio station. Susie reached over and changed it back. "Do you mind?"

"Yes!” Katy snapped. "I hate country music."

"I like it," Star piped up.

"It's not country music," Susie answered. "It's John Denver...he's crossover."

"Isn't there any K.C. and the Sunshine Band?” Pat asked. "Or Elton John?"

"Queen!” Cameron demanded.

"I like that guy from New Jersey," Alice added. "Summersteen… no Springsteen...” The girls snickered. “Well, I knew it was a season."

“Don't you girls ever stop?” Johnny quietly asked. When no one was forthcoming with an answer, he decided to try a different avenue. "Do you think we could put it on a news channel?"

“Okay, cutie." Susie batted her eyes at him, as she searched the stations.

"What a brilliant idea!” Star added, thinking two could play this game. "Why, this whole fire...I'm so nervous, I may just faint!"

Pat snorted. “Put a cute guy in front of you, and suddenly you’re Scarlett O'Hara. I’m waiting for one of you to say, ‘Fiddle dee dee!’ and fan yourself.”

John grimaced. He shook his head, trying to stave off the headache that was threatening to explode between his ears. "Stay calm, ladies, and keep an eye out for your friends, okay?"

Alice spotted something along side the road near a rockslide. "Hey, isn't that Cindy's backpack?"

"It is! STOP THE CAR!" Susie slammed her foot on the brake, stomping on Johnny’s foot in the process. Everyone flew forward as the car skidded to a stop, and Johnny missed the windshield by inches. He glared at Susie, who grinned uncomfortably.

"Sorry!”

Johnny looked heavenward, pleading with someone, anyone, to save him. "Okay, everybody stay put," Johnny ordered. He opened the door, but before he set his foot firmly on the ground, the women overcame him as they rushed to exit the vehicle.

“They listen well,” he whispered as he grabbed the door to steady himself. They pushed past him and hurried over to the backpack. "There are other doors," he grumbled, with a hint of annoyance. He shook his foot and hobbled over to the others. Squatting beside the backpack, he scanned the ground for shoe prints.

"Need help?"

Startled, Johnny lost his balance and fell on his butt in the dirt. He looked up at Cameron, who smiled dreamily. “Ow!" He glared at Susie, whose hiking boot covered his hand.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!” Susie pulled her foot back, and squatted down beside him, while he shook his hand. "Does it hurt? Let me look at it.” She reached out to grab his injured hand.

"It's fine." Johnny held his hand and smiled politely. "No harm done--at least, it doesn’t feel like it, anyway.” He stood up. "We need to find your friends. Are you sure this is hers?"

"I know it is!" declared Susie, picking up the backpack.

“You’re sure, Cameron?” Johnny asked, hopefully.

"I'm Susie," she replied tilting her head slightly and gazing into his eyes. "But you can call me Cameron...if you want to!

"Oh, puh-leeze!” Cameron muttered, slightly disgusted. She nudged the flirt with her elbow.

"Oh, we’re sure," Alice answered, nodding her head. "Sheryl lost hers over the cliff last night when we saw that bear!"

"It wasn't a bear,” Pat said, rolling her eyes and grabbing the backpack.

"Yes, it was!" informed Alice.

"Do you think your friends would be in there?” The paramedic pointed toward the pile of loose rubble.

"It’s possible. Anything is possible with Sheryl and Cindy.” Pat threw the backpack at John.

"Ooof!” he answered, as the pack caught him unprepared. "Oomph...argh!" Johnny found himself lying flat on his back on the ground, staring up at six caring faces. He had bumped his head on the way down and received a small cut on his forehead. Cameron dropped to her knees next to the prone paramedic and dabbed the edge of her shirt against the cut on his forehead.

"Shh, save your strength.” She laid her head on his chest.

“Cam, what are you doing?” Pat knelt next to Cameron and tenderly examined the wound on Johnny's head.

"Listening to his lungs to see if his trachea is deviated."

"Gimme a break, Cammie," Star rolled her eyes. "He hit his head, not his throat. The only thing that would keep him from breathing, is you lying on top of him."

Cameron rocked back to a sitting position, wrinkled her nose, and stuck her tongue out at Star.

"How is he, Pat?” Katy asked, trying to avoid a disaster.

“He'll be fine as long as you keep Cameron away from him," Susie laughed. "A paramedic she's not!"

"Well, luckily it's only a minor cut. No need for a chest tube,” Pat said sarcastically. She ran her hand through her hair again, smiling sweetly at her patient. Johnny groaned and pushed himself up from the ground; or rather, six sets up hands pulled him up from the ground.

"Ladies, ladies..." He shrugged his shoulders, pushing their hands away and jumping to the side when a misguided hand tried to pat out the non-existing fire behind him. He scowled at the women. Katy appeared on Johnny's opposite side.

"Sheryl talked about doing some spelunking this morning…." She paused. "Supposedly, there's the ruins of some old gold mine around here somewhere."

"That’s an old wives’ tale," Pat interjected. "There isn’t any gold around here."

“So what?" said Cameron. "I'm not an old wife.” She crossed her arms and looked at Johnny. "I'm single."

"So am I," replied Katy. She batted her eyes seductively at Johnny. "Very single."

Pat rolled her eyes. "It was only a figure of speech, guys.” She shook her head and ran her hand through her wavy brown hair. "Well, for your information, I'm not an old wife, either." She sniffed the air. "If the wind shifts, we'll be in big trouble.” Johnny looked at the women who surrounded him.

"Your two friends…there are only two, right?” All the heads bobbed in acknowledgment.

“We need to get them out of that cave."

"Oh, right!” Katy squealed running up to the cave. "C'mon girls...dig!” They quickly rushed over to the rocks and began digging. A large rock was inadvertently thrown toward Johnny’s head as the over-eager ladies rushed to clear the entrance to the cave. He tried deflecting it but it hit him squarely in the forehead. He fell face first into the dirt, unmoving. Susie screamed, running over to the fallen paramedic.

“Oh, my God! I think he’s dead.” They quickly crowded around Johnny’s still, but extremely aesthetically pleasing, form.

Cameron took a deep breath and announced, “Well, it’s obvious he needs mouth-to-mouth. Excuse me…” She shoved her way through the crowd.

Pat grabbed Cameron firmly by the elbow and pulled her back. “Don’t forget I’m a Registered Nurse AND a frequent freelance medical consultant to fiction writers. Step aside, ladies…” Pat ignored the “La dee daa’s” and “Ooo’s” that were being uttered behind her. Everyone ignored Cindy and Sheryl’s cries for help from beyond the rocks. They were forgotten again for a handsome, physically fit male.

"What was that?” Alice yelled. "Shh, everybody quiet!” She slowly scanned the surrounding area.

"What are you looking for, Alice?” Star wiped her hands across her shirt. “Another bear?” Several snickers were heard.

"Shh! Don't you hear that?” Alice squinted, continuing her perusal of the surrounding area. "Oh, my God!” she screamed suddenly. "It's a snake!"

"A snake?” Johnny snapped out of a semi-conscious state, his heart racing out of control and panic enveloping his very being. "Okay now, nobody move. Just be very, very still."

"Uh…" Pat was first to break the silence. "What do we do now that we’re all very, very still?”

"How should I know?” Johnny mumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his forehead. "My only experience with a snake ended up with me getting bitten.”

"Oh, I just loved that episode!" babbled Star.

"You were so brave!" Alice agreed.

"Wasn't he, though? And poor Roy, so helpless to help his more-like-a-brother-than-a-partner friend.”

"Will you two shut-up!” Susie yelled. "I say we run for the car.” Susie turned and headed toward the Rover. "I get the front seat!"

Alice watched her comrades quickly pile into the vehicle, slamming the doors and locking them tight. Alice took Cameron's place beside the prone paramedic, grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary.

"Now, what can I do to make it all better for you?"

“Hey!” Susie frowned as she watched Alice help the cute paramedic to stand. "I don't think there was any snake at all!"

"Why that scheming little wench!” Katy fumed. “Why didn't I think of that!”

"Let me out of here!” Cameron leaned over to pull on the door handle, knocking the Rover into gear. The girls were so busy trying to get out of the vehicle that they didn't realize that they were rolling backwards.

"Hey, are we moving?" Pat asked.

~*~

"Uh-oh." Johnny and Alice looked up as they heard the sound of a vehicle moving.

"Move out of the way!” Alice screamed, throwing herself into Johnny, who had been struggling to stand. His balance compromised he, landed hard on the ground, the young girl landing squarely on top of him.

“I think I would have been safer in the fire,” he whispered. He watched his Land Rover roll into the pile of rocks. "My car!" he shouted and pushed Alice off, jumping to his feet. Rocks tumbled down onto the roof as the girls managed to crawl safely out of the front doors. When the rocks had stopped falling, two figures carefully made their way out into the smoky daylight.

"What took you guys so long?" grumbled Sheryl.

"Well, well, well, I see you've been hunting!” Cindy commented, eyeing the dark-haired man. She wiggled her eyebrows at Alice, who dusted off and stepped closer to Johnny.

"My car,” he moaned, then looked directly at the women who had caused the accident. “Look at my car," he complained. “Do you see my car?”

“I think you need to call Triple A!” Sheryl said. "I hope you're insured.” Sheryl limped over to Alice and took her arm. “Let's get out of here before we get eaten by bears! Remember Grizzly?" Alice, momentarily sidetracked by the Grizzly remark, allowed herself to be pulled along.

"Wait a minute!” She suddenly stopped in her tracks. "I can't leave Johnny!” She turned back, only to find Cameron and Katy on either side of the handsome man, each possessively clinging to an arm.

"Um," said Pat, as she critically studied the battered Land Rover, "Rovers are generally pretty sturdy. Why don't we see if it starts?"

“It won't start," Katy said confidently, one arm securely wrapped around Johnny's. "Look at all the rock on top of it. It’ll never start.” She looked up at Johnny and gently tugged his arm. "Let's get moving. It'll take a while to get to the Ranger Station, and the fire's getting closer."

Fire, my butt, thought Cindy as she watched Katy lean against the handsome paramedic. The forest isn't the only thing that's hot around here. She shook her head and headed towards the semi-buried truck.

"You know, if you can get it started, you might be able to back it out.”

Johnny freed himself from the two ladies. "I hope you're right about this," he said to Pat as he opened the driver's side door. He turned the key, and smiled when the motor roared to life.

"What ever happened to that fire?” Katy asked.

"I don't know,” Pat said. “We've been too worried about Sheryl and Cindy to think about a fire,"

"I wonder how close it is?” Johnny, desperate to get out alive, gunned the motor, causing the tires to spin in the loose gravel. "That's not going anywhere."

"Nope," Cameron said.

"At least we don't have to worry about bears!” Sheryl said, glaring at Alice. The ladies all waited and watched the young paramedic climb out of his vehicle. He looked at the rocks that entrapped his Rover. Then he looked at the eight ladies staring dreamily at him.

“What have I gotten myself into?” he quietly said to himself. "Okay, let's move ladies. We don't have time to sit here and twiddle our thumbs," he stated. He stepped forward and all the ladies surged toward him. He stopped and they stopped. “Oh, man, am I in the Twilight Zone?” He turned. "Can we just start walking?"

All the ladies responded at once. "Yeah!”

He shook his head in amazement. "I should have known. You ladies don't do anything alone, do you?"

~*~

Meanwhile, back at the Ranger's Station, KC tapped her foot angrily as she glared at the older gentleman. "What do you MEAN I can't go up there?" she demanded, none too quietly. "My friends are up there, and I told them I'd meet up with them later if I could get off of work."

Making sure to keep from sounding patronizing, the older ranger replied to the young woman. "I'm sorry, really. A brush fire has started in that area, and I can't allow anyone up there until the Fire Department gives me the okay."

“But they could be in trouble and need my help!"

“I understand," the ranger insisted, "but without knowing exactly where they are, you could run into trouble yourself. We have men searching the area now for stragglers and, don't forget, they do have each other."

KC sighed. He mentioned that there were MEN searching for stragglers. Heaven help them. All bets were off if any of them were single AND good-looking. . If he only knew her friends like she knew her friends. The last remark, about having each other, was a joke. In her heart she knew the ranger was right. She turned to look out the window as a truck pulled up to the Ranger Station. Her friends had to come out of this all right. She wouldn't allow herself to consider any other possibility.

“If only there was a way….” Then an idea struck her.

~*~

“Hi, I'm Sheryl." She pushed past the rest of the group and limped toward the handsome hunk. "You look so familiar, have we met somewhere?” She smiled sweetly.

"Oh, no you don't! That's the oldest line in the book!" Susie grumbled.

"You'd know, wouldn't you!" Sheryl said.

“Oh, I forgot. You’re accident prone, you would know the paramedics.”

“Now, that was cold.” Susie grabbed her arm. "I saw him first," she whispered.

"Well, I guess I have some catching up to do then, don't I?" Sheryl whispered back, making sure to keep a smile on her face. She struggled to pull her arm away, but Susie held on.

"Ladies, please! This is a serious situation!” Johnny interrupted. He was growing more annoyed, if that were possible. "We need to get out of here.” He could smell smoke, but wasn't sure what direction it was coming from.

"Well, I'm not the one that wrecked the car!” Sheryl stated, arching an eyebrow at Susie.

"It wasn’t me, it was Cameron. Besides, don’t you need a Kleenex? Your nose is running!” Susie loudly and smugly informed. "Not very attractive!"

Sheryl glared at her before letting out a loud sneeze in Susie’s direction. "Sorry," she giggled as Susie wiped the spray off of her face.

"Maybe we could climb a tree or something for a better view of the area?” Katy offered, looking around for a possible vantage point. Johnny nodded.

“Yeah!" shouted the women, simultaneously. They immediately scanned their surroundings and started for the nearest tree. Sheryl stealthily moved closer to the uncertain paramedic, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

Cindy found a sturdy tree and began to scale it, hoping that her quick thinking and agility would not be lost on Johnny, provided Sheryl would stop smothering him. From near the top of the tree, Cindy scanned the area. She squinted at a lone figure in the distance and her heart sank. This was worse than a fire. The words stuck in her throat. Down below, the group heard a strangled, “Oh, my God!” from the tree top, and they saw a very pale and shaky Cindy rejoin them.

“See anything?” Cameron asked, fearing the worst.

“You are not going to believe what I saw…”

“What!” the ladies yelled in unison.

Tears filled Cindy’s eyes and she uttered the dreaded words. “She’s coming this way.”

“The fire?” Johnny ventured.

“Worse.” Cindy hesitated, choked, and then whispered, “It’s… Mary Sue.”

~*~

“Thanks for all the help," KC told the ranger. She trotted out of the station and looked carefully around. A tall, lanky fire captain was going over a map with a blue-eyed, red-haired ranger. “Now's my chance.” KC darted to the back of the fire engine and stepped onto the running board. She held onto the bar with a firm grip. The engine shuddered as a door slammed, and lurched forward.

"Hey!" yelled the ranger as she spotted the stowaway on the back of the fire truck. "You can't go up there!” She shook her head and walked into the station. "You're never going to guess what just happened."

"Oh?" asked the older ranger solicitously. "What happened, Carol?"

"Some chick just hopped a ride on the back of that fire engine.” Carol sighed as she took a set of keys off of the pegboard.

"She was looking for a few friends who were camping near the fire zone and haven't checked in yet. That doesn't surprise me. I remember when that group checked in.” He shook his head in amusement. "Boy, what a bunch."

"Is there anybody else who hasn't checked out?" asked Carol.

"Yes," replied the older ranger, "a guy named Gage. John Gage.” He shrugged and smiled. "I wonder if they'll find each other?”

Carol shook her head. "If the rest are anything like this last one, God help him if he does.” She grabbed her jacket from the chair behind the desk. "I'm gonna start searching for our stowaway, and whomever else I can find.” She headed for the door. "Wish me luck."

~*~

"Mary Sue?” Johnny asked, looking confused. "Who is she, another friend?"

"No, she’s your worst nightmare!” Star explained.

“Is she worse than you girls?” Johnny shook his head.

“Let's pretend we didn't see her, and maybe she’ll go away," Star said.

Johnny’s mouth dropped open. "We can't leave her out here. There is a fire raging, remember?"

The women exchanged glances, and some were heard to say, ‘So? Your point is?’

Cameron stepped to the front of the group, and placed her hand on Johnny’s forearm. "Look, honey. You can't bring Mary Sue here. She's like...the plague. Trust me...she's just going to die at the end of the story whether you try to rescue her or not, so let's go the other way.” The others nodded in agreement. Johnny stared at the eight women.

"Did Chet send you guys up here?” They shook their heads with a chorus of ‘Who’s Chet?’ "Okay," he continued. "I'm going to rescue Mary Ellen--”

"It's Mary Sue," Alice interrupted.

"Whatever. All of you, STAY HERE.” He turned toward Mary Sue, and Sheryl grabbed his legs, almost knocking him to the ground, again.

"I can't, in good conscience, let you go!"

"You don't know what you're dealing with!” Pat added. "Don't go."

Johnny sighed in exasperation as he peeled Sheryl off of his legs. "I'm going!"

The women watched him leave, shaking their heads.

"Bad move!” Alice said, the others nodding in agreement. Johnny approached the lone woman standing in the clearing. The smell of fire was much more pronounced.

"Miss?” He placed a concerned hand on her shoulder. The electricity raced through his fingertips and zapped his heart when she turned to face him. His heart melted. "I think I'm in love!" he said numbly.

She nodded, and smiled a dazzling smile. "Of course you are!"

He grabbed her hand, and dropped to one knee, overcome by a force he was powerless to fight. He asked her the age-old question, "Marry me!”

Her eyes twinkled with excitement. "Yes!" she said.

The sound of a loud engine filled the air. Johnny dropped her hand, stood up, turned, and saw a red Ranger’s truck barreling down on the two star-crossed lovers.

"Stop!" he yelled as the truck hit Mary Sue, killing her instantly and stopping only when it hit a tree.

"NO!” Johnny screamed. He ran over to the battered body of Mary Sue as KC hopped out of the truck.

“I'm here to rescue you!" she shouted.

The girls shook their heads. "KC, do you realize that you just wrecked our only means of getting out of here alive?" Pat asked.

"Nice going!" snapped Katy.

KC sighed; heroism was definitely overrated. Glaring at Katy, KC looked at the damaged truck. "It's not too bad." she commented, toeing the growing puddle of coolant under the crumpled hood. “I bet if handsome there jiggles a few wires we can get it going again."

Johnny reluctantly tore his gaze away from Mary Sue's lifeless body to stare murderously at the newcomer. "You killed her!" he stated, advancing menacingly towards KC.

She placed her hand on his chest to keep him from attempting bodily damage, and tried to make him see reason. "Look, Sweets, she was doomed anyway, and you would've gone down with her. I saved you the trouble of being drawn in by her wily ways. Now, unless that ranger was kidding, and my nose too, I think we might want to see about getting this..." She took a good look at the wreck. "Uh, well, whatever it is now, up and running so we can get away from the fire."

Johnny stared at her a moment longer. He swept his gaze over the whole lot that had descended upon him. Part of him wanted to continue mourning the loss of his beloved Mary Sue, while some still sane portion of his brain reminded him that getting away from the fire might be a good idea. He looked at the Ranger's truck... or what used to be the Ranger's truck. The woman holding him at arm’s length shouldn't have been able to walk away from that mess.

"How did you--? Are you hurt?” he asked her.

KC shook her head. "I'm fine. I've had a lot of practice on how not to get hurt in a wreck."

"Too much practice," mumbled Alice knowingly.

Sheryl sneezed and then added, "Her nickname isn’t 'Crash' for no reason." The rest of the women snickered while KC only blushed.

With Mary Sue gone and her effect diminishing, Johnny was able to bring his attention back to the fire and the gaggle of women he had, somehow, inherited in this mess. Now what do we do? He looked skyward for inspiration from a higher authority.

Seeing Johnny studying the heavens, Cameron sidled up close to the hunky man, placed a hand on his arm, and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I knew you were the romantic type. I love star gazing," she gushed, staring up at the sky with him.

"Me, too!" Sheryl jumped to his other side, claiming his remaining shoulder, and tilted her face skyward as well.

Cameron reached across the broad expanse of her idol's chest and unceremoniously shoved Sheryl away. "Hey, get back. I was here flirt...I mean first!"

"You had it right the first time, flirt," Sheryl countered, pushing up her sleeves. "C'mon, winner takes..."

"Ladies!" Johnny pushed away from the group and put ten paces between them. He turned to address them. "In case you've forgotten, there is a brush fire burning...we have no transportation out of here...and we don't know which way to go."

"Sure we do," Cindy said. "I mean, we know which way to get out of here."

"Well, Miss Wisdom, why don't you share your information then?” Katy said, placing her hands on her perfect Size 2 hips.

"Yeah," the rest of the group exclaimed, placing their hands on their perfect Size 2 hips.

"If you're going to be that way about it, find your own way out.” Cindy turned from the group pouting.

Johnny, sensing that Cindy wasn't going to talk without proper encouragement, exhaled in exasperation before approaching the sulking woman. He draped a steely arm around her perfect Size 2 waist. "C'mon, Cindy, sweetheart...tell us what you saw from the treetop.”

Cindy gazed into his eyes, awestruck. "His arm’s around ME!" she shouted.

"Earth to Cindy." Pat crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "Yoo hoo, Cindy!” She waved a hand up and down in front of Cindy's dazed expression and turned to the rest of the group. "Geez, I haven't seen a face like that since KC hit that deer on our last camping trip."

"Well," interjected Katy, "we don't really need Cindy's input, now do we?"

"What do you mean by that?" asked Johnny. He tried to remove his arm from around Cindy's hip, but it was yanked back. "Ow!" he yelped as his arm was nearly ripped from its socket.

Pat sighed. “Time for another man-ectomy for Cindy.” Pat walked behind Johnny and released the death grip Cindy had on his wrist. She lightly palpated and examined Johnny's wrist. "Doesn't look broken."

"Thank you." Johnny shook his arm and swung it around. He turned his attention to Katy "You were saying?"

"All we have to do is follow the direction the truck came from, right?” Katy put her hands on her perfect Size 2 hips and beamed with a dazzling smile from her perfect teeth.

"Uh..." KC stammered. "I don't think that's a good idea!"

"Why not?” Katy asked.

"Well,” she hesitated, “I came through the fire."

Johnny stared at KC. "You came through the fire?"

"Yeah.” KC looked at Johnny as if he had two heads. "You didn't think I'd let them have all the fun, do you?” She tossed her perfect Farrah Fawcett locks, a gesture repeated by the other eight women with their perfect Farrah hairdos.

Johnny shook his head. "This must be a dream," he mumbled.

“A-A-ACHOO!” Sheryl sniffed loudly and watched Johnny wipe the spittle off his face. "Sorry!"

"Let's…get out of here.” He turned to leave. The women surrounded him, shoving and jostling him, trying to get closer. As they walked, Sheryl hobbled slightly behind, trying valiantly to catch up. Pat elbowed Cindy, who was still trying to attach her arm to Johnny's waist. KC checked Alice with her hip, knocking her out of the way. Susie and Cameron worked together to push Star to the back of the crowd.

Finally, Alice and Sheryl went to push Cameron to the left of Johnny, but they missed and shoved the paramedic hard. Johnny lost his balance on a small hilly incline. They watched as he rolled down the hill, landing hard with a loud "OOF!" at the rocky bottom.

"Nice going, ladies," Cindy said sarcastically.

"Don't tell me," Katy added. “Sheryl thought he was another bear."

"It was an accident!” Sheryl snapped. "Lighten up!"

"You could've killed the guy!" Cameron cried.

Pat smiled. Finally, a chance to play doctor...uh...nurse! "Well, I think this situation calls for the advanced training of a professional doc...nurse." Pat smiled, ready to pounce on her patient. She took a step forward.

"Oh, no you don't," Cameron threw herself to the ground and rolled down the hill. Alice, Sheryl, Susie, Katy, Star, Cindy, and KC, not to be outdone, threw themselves to the ground and followed Cameron down the hill.

Johnny sat up, dazed and confused, and glanced up the hill just in time to see eight Farrah clones rolling toward him at breakneck speed. Pat shook her head sadly at the top of the hill and watched as the dreamboat was buried under a mass of overzealous female hormones. He struggled to climb out from under the pile of overly zealous women.

"Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!” Pat threw herself to the ground and rolled down the hill.

Johnny managed to break free and sit up. He looked up the hill in time to notice another figure barreling toward him. Unfortunately, there wasn't sufficient time for him to move. Pat landed on top of him.

Stunned only for a moment, she quickly realized her advantageous position. "Don't move!" she commanded.

Johnny blinked hard and looked up, seeing white dots floating before his eyes. "I don't th..."

"AAAHHH!” Star's scream pierced everyone's eardrums. "She's dead!" She was jumping up and down pointing at the prone figure lying at her feet.

Flat on his back, Johnny turned his head. Dazed, he thought hard, trying to figure out if he was dreaming. Suddenly the events of the day came rushing back to him. "Oh man!" he groaned.

"Definitely, disoriented. Probable concussion,” Pat stated, with authority, as she "examined" her patient. "Does your head hurt, honey?" she asked with concern as she gazed into the brown eyes only inches below hers.

“She's not moving, I think she really is dead!” Katy caught Star as she collapsed in a sobbing heap. Johnny's head snapped around in the direction of the falling Star.

"Dead?" Pat questioned suspiciously. Sheryl poked the prone figure with the toe of her good foot.

"Dead. Poor, poor Alice.” Sheryl sniffed. "You know, she was more-like-a-sister-than-a-friend to me."

Johnny slowly pushed himself to a sitting position, but was pushed back by Pat's comforting hands. "You are in no condition to help.” She patted him on the chest, a little longer than was deemed necessary by medical standards. "I'll save her." Pat leapt to her feet to be at Alice's side. "Wow, I haven't pulled anyone back from the grips of death yet today! Everybody stand back, give me room to work!” Kneeling, lacing her fingers together, pushing them outward, and hearing the satisfying popping of her knuckles, she quickly tilted her patient’s head back preparing for mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Alice's eyes flew open.

"You touch me and you'll be sporting perfect Size 2 lips!" she hissed.